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Am I With The Right Partner?
Assalamualaikum and Hi dear followers and readers ^.^ How are you? Good? That's great to hear. So, today I'm going to share something that I think most us have of been looking for in a relationships. It's the most frequent questions asked by among of us but never really did find the answer. I'm going to tell you the secret of this thing. Enjoy :)
During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind' replied the author.
Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your partner's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..
And this is for the ladies who thinks they can't move on ^.^
Maybe this is a message, to reach out to a dear friend that won’t listen. Maybe this is a message to any girl out there that suffers with those ever-troubling boy problems. Maybe this is a message to help you get out of that rut that you probably think is the end of the world, is probably the worst pain anyone has ever endured.
But here’s a reality check to all you girls that think like that: there’s been worse, people have gone through worse, and they’ve all made it out fine. Maybe the real problem we are facing is that you don’t understand your own self-worth. Maybe you wear yourself so thin for someone that’s not even worth it, and for what? Because you believe you won’t find someone like them ever again? Maybe so, maybe you won’t find someone exactly like them — but what if you find someone different? What if you find someone better? Someone that doesn’t make you go through loads of pain for just those fleeting moments of happiness. Someone that truly appreciates and loves you for who you are, each and every moment of each and every day. Someone that says they love you, and really means it with all their heart, where they would be so very cautious as to never even think about doing a single thing to hurt you. Why settle for someone — someone who doesn’t treat you with the respect you deserve — when you’re so young, so naive, just because you think you will never find anyone else?
Looking at it with a clear mind and completely rationally, you’ll see that it makes no sense at all. You ruin yourself, you spiral down a path that only leads to depression and constant streams of tears for someone that only continues to make you feel this way. Does nothing to make up for it. Doesn’t even think to correct his mistakes. Why? Because “you love him.”
Well guess what, give it 6 months. Give it a year, or maybe even two. I can guarantee you, you will find someone that you will love, you will fall in love with, and forget everyone that has hurt you in the past. There is always someone that comes along, always someone that will patch up all your heart’s wounds, will come and save you like the knight in shining armor that we all wish for at some point. You just have to give it time. You just have to know your worth. It takes a while, after being destroyed, to piece yourself back together and move on. It takes a great deal of strength, because it hurts like nothing has ever hurt before. Your ego, your self-confidence, your self-esteem, your self-worth — shattered, and there is only you to build it back up. But once you do, once you go through this obstacle, the worst part is over. Your confidence shines, radiates from you as you realize what a wonderful person you’ve been this whole time, how you don’t deserve any of what you’ve been through, and you begin the next chapter of your life with a clean slate and a mended heart. And the only question in your mind will be, “Why did I ever put up with his shit for so damn long?”
That's all for today. Thanks for reading :) Will post more soon~ Assalamualaikum ^.^